Pages

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

How to throw a bachelor party… For the love of God start planning it before you start drinking.


How to throw a bachelor party… For the love of God start planning it before you start drinking.
So I just recently got engaged. On top of pondering my own perfect bachelor party, I have been in charge of 2 bachelor parties, both of which went without a hitch... Both figuratively and literally… No one got drunkenly, “Hangover movie” married on either Bachelor party. But I learned some lessons that can be passed on to future Bachelor parties for efficiency.
1   1.) Put someone in charge. Pick someone who is organized, straight forward and who is up for the task; this may or may not be the Best Man. If you are staying local and the best man is from out of state, he most likely isn’t as familiar with the locations, directions, trends or local night life as someone else in the bachelor party. Make sure the person in charge is not scared to make a decision or take charge because odds are the group leader will most likely be the final voice on most decisions.
     2.) Ask what the groom wants and make a plan. Give the groom the chance to at least design the cornerstone of the weekend, and then make a plan to fill in the rest. If the Groom wants a relaxed golfing weekend, set up the weekend around golf with a few nights out. Likewise if the Groom wants a crazy, end all be all party… Grab some blow-up dolls, a few strippers, a case of penicillin and go to town. At the end of the day, letting the groom build the cornerstone of his last hoorah will allow him to get what he wants out of the party while the rest of his friends use it as an excuse to act like wild, adolescent assholes away from their significant others.
     3.) Give the group a voice. Create a Facebook page, an e-mail feed or a group text message feed. My choice would be a Facebook page; almost everyone has it and you can make it private, e-mails could get sent to spam and no one wants their phone going off every 5 seconds at work. The only downfall to a Facebook page are those “I’m too cool for Facebook” people that you have to contact separately to keep them in the loop… If there are too many of those, the other 2 routes may be better. Use the groups to communicate, vote and make decisions so that you can get some sort of itinerary set up. You can also ask the group for any hook-ups in the area; someone who can get in to a club for free, discounted drinks, discounted rooms or car rentals… you never know who in the group knows until you ask.
     4.) Get a payment app. Everyone paying up front is awesome, but something always pops up that the group needs to pay for and people always “need to go to the bank” because they didn’t bring enough cash. Use an app like Venmo or Chase quick pay and make sure everyone has it set up before the trip. Venmo is great because people can write descriptions of the payment to keep everything organized and remember who paid (i.e. dinner, hotel room or strippers). The worst thing in the world is being the person collecting money because you put everything on your card and people “forgetting” to pay you.
    5.)  Have a good time. Sounds easy enough right? Just make sure people are comfortable with what’s going on. This trip is all about the groom, so if he doesn't feel comfortable getting a lap dance, find a “no touch” strip club or sit away from the stage and enjoy the view… the rest of the heathen friends will be sure to spend all of their money on the back room delights if they choose to. Make sure to casually mention your with a bachelor party to the server or bartender (don't be all in your face with it, night life people hate that) and you may score a round of shots or get some good insight on where to go.

Plan the trip according to the group’s specs and you’ll be sure to have a good time. Keep the pictures to a minimum (don't agree to delete them at the end, that shit never happens) and for God’s sake don’t check in to places on social media… You’re just asking for a pre-wedding break-up.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

How flossing can help you live past 100 and being sick for a Bachelor party.


Staying healthy isn't easy. I just read an article from longevity expert Dr. Sanjay Gupta that said flossing your teeth can reduce inflammation which in turn helps reduce inflammation throughout the body… which in turn helps lower the risk of heart disease. He said flossing every day could help you live past 100. So of course I went out and bought a case of floss from Costco. He also mentioned that he doesn't floss “as much as he would like to”. Hypocrite…
So I’m currently sick. I went to the doctor, which I never do, but I can’t be sick right now. I usually allow my body to fight off the sickness, it helps strengthen your immune system and I am not a fan of antibiotics as your body can become immune to them with over use… Our country is way too quick to pop a synthetic pill in order to “feel better” instead of giving your body what it needs to help fight off sickness with its natural antibodies. Anyways, I digressed, back to the reason I can’t be sick right now… So I have a bachelor party in 4 days… It’s not my bachelor party, but that doesn't make it any less important not to be sick. You only get a few reasons to go on a trip with your boys, act like complete idiots, drink incessantly, smoke cigars and play golf multiple days in a row (unless you have a wonderful fiancĂ© like I do… She reads my blog)… and a bachelor party is one of those ways.
So when my doctor prescribed the medication, she mentioned I have to take it for 10 days straight. I know you can’t drink while on antibiotics, so naturally I tried to negotiate with her. My offer for doubling the RX for 5 days didn’t really go over well with her… Something about hurting my liver or something, I don’t know I wasn’t really listening to her and she was obviously under the impression that my liver was still fully functioning… I didn’t have my 2006 Beer Olympics Gold Medal there to try and explain my drinking habits. She wasn’t having it either way.
When I went to the pharmacy I asked to speak to the pharmacist; I spoke to him about my situation. I feel as though this should be a more common question, right? As he starred at me with his disapproving eyes, he explained to me that this particular antibiotic does not counteract with alcohol but is processed in the liver, so excess alcohol wouldn’t make me vomit but it wouldn’t be the best thing in the world for my liver. So my adolescent brain naturally only heard one thing and I needed clarification… “So if I throw up it’s because of the amount of alcohol I consumed and not the medication, correct”?

On the ride home after I was asked to leave the pharmacy, I could only think of one thing… How much I hated flossing and how I just invested $37 in floss at Costco.